Life is not meant to be heavy or hard. In spite of what we may think. We often feel like we’re supposed to worry about things, and I mean worry all the time. Like if we don’t worry, then everything might fall apart..the other shoe might drop. I should know. I was a chronic worrier. I worried about what people thought of me, worried about what college I would get into, worried about my boyfriends, worried about getting good grades, worried about having enough money, worried about losing a race in track. Basically I worried about anything and everything.
I remember after I first met Chris (my now-husband), I told him I couldn’t totally relax with him and let my guard down because I was afraid that I couldn’t. Because I was used to getting my hopes up in relationships and then having something happen that meant it was not going to last. It was such a sad pattern to be in. He kindly reassured me that this was different (and thankfully I believed him – it took some time but I did eventually accept that it was for real!). And he was right.
Does this ever happen to you? Do you ever let a past situation dictate your current experience? Of course you do! We all do. Something happens to us in our lives, and then anytime we get into a situation that is remotely similar, our memories are triggered about what happened before and our brains instinctively believe that the same thing is going to happen again (check out the Daily Om for a great article on this!). So what happens is that we re-live our past over and over again. And we wonder why we have the same patterns in our lives. Because we are literally creating them again with our own thoughts! “Worrying is using your imagination to create more of what you don’t want,” as some very wise person once said.
In my guidance sessions (now some summer discounts on these!) and workshops, I often do an exercise I call “The Hidden Stories of the Ego Self” with people. It’s a way to explore what’s happened to us (or what we were told) in the past. We try to identify what these stories we tell ourselves are first. And then we get curious. Do we really believe that the exact same thing is going to happen again? Or that because we were told something in the past by a person we respected that this statement still is true.. all the time? Do we want to continue to believe that?
If you find yourself in the same, unhappy patterns in your life (same type of relationships, same type of job situation, same health problems, etc.), try asking yourself if there is an unconscious thought that you’re having that is actually making the situation worse. If there is a hidden story somewhere that part of you really believes is true and clings onto for dear life.
We have tens of thousands of thoughts per day, and often, most of them are quite negative. If you believe, as I do, that we are subconsciously creating our own realities with our thoughts every day, then imagine if we were to replace the negative ones with positive ones! What could we bring about in our lives? (I have tried it. It takes practice and it’s not just about the thoughts themselves.. but with patience, trust, and aligning your vibration with your soul purpose... it works!)
I recently went through a spell of negative thinking. It was so heavy that it started affecting my everyday life and emotional wellbeing. Luckily, I knew that it was not really “me,” and I knew what to do about it. I wrote about it (I did my own Inner Critic exercise to pick apart and separate from my negative thoughts – and hey! I’m doing a workshop on that next week!), listened to some sound healing music (and.. hey! – I’m doing a workshop with my friend Ben Carroll with singing bowls and meditations and writing exercises next month!). Then I got some help from my own Divine guides, and from a gifted intuitive. This last part is what really helped.
And things shifted. My favorite online journal Wake-Up World published another article of mine on personal transformation and nature (did you know they have 3 million followers? Holy cow!). I got lots of new clients. Checks written out to me started coming in literally in one week. My husband got a raise at work. It was like magic.
I also learned something else. I know that it’s really hard to stop worrying… especially with all that’s happening in the world now (but you can turn off the negative news! Take action and help make the world better in the meantime!). But, we can do something else.
And that something else is to ENJOY life. That’s right. To find joy in each moment. To live as if we were on vacation. To pretend we’re a 5 year old kid running through a sprinkler and having a watermelon-seed spitting contest. To go for a walk in the park in the middle of a workday. To imagine that you’re on your deathbed and wonder if you’ll be so glad that you spent so much of your life worrying about retirement or your job… or that you made time every day to have fun, just to enjoy life!
This is important not just because having fun makes you feel good. It’s actually about your personal vibration and your attracting what you want in your life. When you are in a joyful place, you emit a high-frequency wave (like a radio wave). We don’t see this with our eyes but it’s there. And if you have a vision (you do, right?) of your ideal future (which probably exists also at a beautiful high frequency), then you want your current vibrational frequency to match that of your future one so you get there faster! Like does attract like. It's not as simple as all that (the "law of attraction" is only one of many Divine laws - including free will, soul purpose, etc.), but it's a start. (Side note: want to "attract" other like-minded souls into your life? Join us for a free online workshop on June 15th getting support on your spiritual path – and an opportunity to join a regular membership group - next week! And meet up with some of us in person at a beautiful outdoor park on June 22nd!)
Of course when we decide to stop worrying (you can actually decide to do things and make them happen with that simple decision followed by action!) our negative minds will tell us we’re being irresponsible and we should be working harder… or else things will fall apart! But ask yourself… will they really? Will going for a walk in the afternoon really make you lose your job? Will stopping the worry about having enough money really mean that your whole life will fall apart?
I’m lucky enough to have two young children, and they help me remember to bring joy into my life. I like to do cartwheels with them, jump on trampolines whenever I see them (I did this before I had kids too!), run up a slide on a playground, laugh about silly things and make funny faces/sounds and yes, I did run through the sprinkler with them as you can see here in this photo.
Even if you don’t have children in your life (although you could probably find some to hang out with!), find something that lightens your soul. Spend some time with friends, relaxing, hanging out, enjoying food. There is a reason that some other countries have higher levels of happiness. They simply don’t worry like we do.
Stop allowing the mainstream media to indoctrinate you into believing that you have to worry about and be afraid of everything – this disease, that war/terrorist attack, the economy, not having enough for retirement, needing to take a pill to get better, feeling like you have to have the latest thing that your co-worker/neighbor/friend has.
You see, the fear-based onslaught that comes in TV commercials and the news keeps us scared, buying what we don’t need and working endless hours because we think we have to. This current system is not helping us so we must have the courage to break free. We must stop letting it influence us so much. And then our true freedom will begin!
So live a little. Get outside and run as fast as you can. Jump in the ocean. Sing out loud at the top of your lungs.
Your soul is begging you to and your life will be better if you do.
P.S. If you’re around Portland, Maine this summer, stay tuned for a whole bunch of workshops I’m going to be doing in July and August! Reach out to me if you want the exact dates!